Wednesday, 1 February 2017

Halfway thru Final Year

 Assalamu'alaikum and hi

Today is the third day I am in semester eight. And this is my final semester being in the university. For next semester, (inshaallah) I will be interning in still only-God-knows-what company, and where. After two years and half in the university, with all the bittersweet memories, finally, I am going to leave it soon, guys. Awhh. Remember the first time I blogged about coming to UNISEL? And then giving information about UNISEL some more for new students to refer to. Gigih okay. Hehe. You can read them here if you want to. This one andd this one. Ada member (junior) yang baru masuk siap tegur "Ohh, blog hang ka tuu." Bhahaha. Famous mok, nokss. *insert tangan sotong menampar lembut bahu kawan sebelah here*

Okay, back to the main topic: I am going for internship in just few months!! Omg. Soo excited but scareddd. More to scared actually. My CGPA so far is so good. I am not worry about it. Wait no, still worry of course yesss I have to worry coz in just one semester I can messed up everything if buat halai balai. But inshaallah I can work on it to maintain or improve my CGPA. Positive and semangat as always, coz I know God will give me the best as I deserve.

But really, in the real working world, your good CGPA does not mean a thing if you cannot do the job. I learned in the classes, I practised, but still, I am scared. We got ample time to do the assignments in university. But in media industry, the competitiveness.. gosh. We are not living in the days where the news we wrote today will be published for tomorrow's newspaper anymore. Now is the new media time. Internet. Online news portal. It works 24/7. We have to be the first to break the news. Imagine working with the deadline like thatt. I can imagine the pressure. I know it's gonna be hard, but I have to face it. It's okay to be wrong, it's okay to make mistake, it's okay to kena marah. That's the process of learning anyway. I know I can do it because I always do if I want to. But what frightened me the most is the fact that my general knowledge is sucks! It really is. Can already imagined me being scolded by my editor for not knowing the menteri-menteri, the political stories, who did this and that, economic issues, sports etc. Huhu. I don't want to see the face of disappointment from them (the editor or whatnots) whenever I made mistakes. That's my weakness. I care a lot about what people think of me. And it can affect me real bad.

I know that this (being a reporter) is not what I want to be. Honestly. I never think of me, interview orang, kejar artis, kejar politician, and then balik tulis pasal tu. Like, that's it? That's my job? That's so not me. I don't talk much especially with new people. I am not so good in mingling around. I don't really care about others. Maybe I will get the passion of doing the reporting when I actually experience it later. I don't know. But for now, really, that is not what I want to be. I loveee studying journalism. I love being in this field. I love social science. I am proud to say I study journalism. But I still don't know exactly what I really want to be. If it is in the media, whether it is in broadcasting, newspaper reporter, magazine, radio?? I am still not sure. If not in the media industry, then what am I gonna be?

Journalism has the power of controlling people's mind. What we write/say, is what people are gonna talk about. We are the one who decide it. We can make people respected, and we can also bring people down. This is a really powerful field I am in, and I can use it to make the world a better place. But the responsibility that comes with it is also great. Like what my lecturer, Madam Azian, said before, journalist antara muka-muka yang beratur paling depan nak masuk neraka. What she meant to say is how big our responsibility is. The power we have, how are we gonna use it? Like phewwh.

By the way, I had surveyed few places for internship, and I am gonna send as many application as I can. Be it newspaper organization, TV, radio, mags. Just apply it all. From then only I can choose what is the best for me, But let say if I get all of them, and I have to choose now, I seriously don't know where to go just yet. Will spend these last few months to figure it out with the help of my lecturers and from my own reading. Pray for me, guys. Semoga apa pun yang dipilih still didalam redha Allah. Inshaallah.


P/S : URL blog ini akan ditukar kepada ecanfadhlina.blogspot.com anytime soon. Hope I don't lose you my loyal readers :)